It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that relationships are difficult. I, myself, have only been in one serious relationship. For three years I have been with the man of my dreams, but I can honestly say it has been a roller coaster of ups and downs.
Let me back up a little. Before my junior year of college I was a very free spirit. I joined a sorority immediately, made tons of new friends, and boosted my alcohol tolerance to an unhealthy extent.
I would say this is normal for the time we all live in now. I partied and thought about guys. Basically non-stop. My female hormones were raging. I thought that I would go to parties and find the man of my dreams and live this fun, always on the go lifestyle. No worries.
This blog is for those girls that are like me now when I was in school. Either in college now or an up-coming student.
Im not going to tell you to not party. Im not going to tell you to not drink. That is COMPLETELY normal for a 18+ young girl. Im just going to tell you what I went through, and maybe you can learn from me and avoid this experience.
So before my sophomore year of college, I was a virgin. Yup, very rare these days sadly. And believe me, going to one of the most known schools for partying, there were MANY MANY occasions where temptation was screaming in my face.
My best friend of the time and I worked as a team. She’d always have my back and told me over and over how proud of me she was to have such pure morals. And at parties we’d have a secret signal to give each other when we were a little too uncomfortable with a guy. It was great actually lol. My freshman year of college was definitely one to remember….or forget. Lol. But I made it through the whole year as a virgin, and let me tell you…I’m very proud of myself for that.
Anyways, during the summer I would spend it at home with my parents. They lived about 4 hours away from my school. Well lets just say my friends from back home weren’t as reliable as my best friend who stayed at school during the summer.
One night when I was working a night shift at Chick Fil-a part time I got invited to a party at my hometown’s local college. I knew the girls who invited me were a little on the crazy side, they were at least 2 or 3 years younger than me so they thought it would be cool if I took them to a college party. My first instinct told me to go home, you’re tired, just take it easy. But I didn’t listen.
I rushed home after work to get ready and go see what this party was about. When we arrived to the party, it seemed like a normal rowdy college parties, filled with people who I recognized from high school. Not going to lie, I was having a good time at first.
It wasn’t but 20 minutes into the party when a guy approached me and we started to have a conversation about how he is just on leave from the marines and he knows the guy who lived at the place the party was taking place. He offered me a drink, I took it and continued to party with my friends.
Then I blacked out.
This part is very hard for me to right. But Im going to be blunt and honest.
The next thing I remember is being in a random room on a bed with this guy on top of me. It was too late… my virginity had been taken by a stranger.
I immediately rushed down stairs, grabbed my “friends” who didn’t even notice I was gone, and started balling my eyes out in the parking lot.
Everything that I had promised myself was gone and I felt so much shame surrounding me. I knew I probably wasn’t going to wait until marriage to have sex, but I had never imagined it would happen in such a way.
Girls, please don’t let what happened to me happen to you. Give yourself to a man who loves you, and definitely do not be under the influence when it does happen.
Just a few words of advice from an alumni who has seen it all.
Always have real friends with you when you party. And do like I did with Rachael and have some sort of sign to get out of uncomfortable situations.
Never take a drink from a random person.
DO NOT give your heart to the first guy you meet. They WILL screw you over.
Listen to your gut feeling.
If you are not having fun, just go home and order a pizza and watch a movie. Trust me, staying longer is not going to make the party more fun.
Don’t drink and drive. I was so upset after being raped that I drove home drunk. I could’ve killed myself, or worse, an innocent person.
It is very hard for me to write this. I have only told a few people about this occurrence, but I feel strongly about protecting young women against these issues. I am in NO way a feminist, but this hits home with me.
Until next time,