Tis the Season

Tis the season

Tis’ the season y’all! And no, I’m not talking about the holidays…I’m talking about camo-wearing, locked and loaded, ass hurtin cause you been sitting in a deer stand for hours kind of season. I myself have personally never been hunting. Im around folks who talk about it nonstop and go quite often enough that I’m sitting here talking to y’all about it right now.

The reason that I bring it up because on my way to work this morning I could not help but notice the abundance of dead deer on the side of the roads from getting hit by cars from what I assume.  So here is my funny store for Y’all on this fine Monday. A year ago from today during the summer, I was driving to my internship from my boyfriend’s house, He lives in Claxton, Ga which is basically made up of just a bunch of dirt roads and houses. He lives on a dirt road himself. So it is very typical to see deer on this road, especially at night time. Well, it was pretty early in the morning and I noticed a dead deer right in the middle of the road on the other side coming towards his house. So anyway, the day goes on and I spend the day at my internship and don’t think another thing about the dead deer.

Later that night I was returning to my boyfriend’s house driving down these backgrounds where there is absolutely no source of light except for my headlights. I am driving about 65 miles per hour jamming to what I am assuming is some Johnny Cash or throwback Taylor Swift jams and then it hits me, low and behold…there he is… the dead deer. Now, by the time I see this massive feller I’ve got 2 options. Literally drive over the damn thing or probably pop my tires by swerving and possibly flipping my car. So, I slowed down as much as I possibly could which was to about 45 miles per hour and just hoped over the guy. IT WAS GUT WRENCHING. Not to mention the thing was already half rotten.

Soo lets keep going. I heard a few pops or two which sounded like my bumper splitting in two and then something dragging underneath my car. I was so scared about the damage that I had done, but at that point, I was just glad that I was ok and decided I would have my boyfriend look at it in the morning. I got back to his house and called it a night. The next day we didn’t look at my car right away, instead we immediately got up and decided we’d relax a little bit with his family and get in their pool…

This is where it gets embarrassing.

Josh’s entire family was in the pool. His mom, stepdad, two brothers, and I were all swimming when his mom pointed out a god-awful smell that the wind kept carrying over to us. We pushed it aside of course because it could’ve been anything with them living out in the country.

Later on that day Josh finally decided to look at my car. The first thing he does is duck his head under my bumper, quickly lifts his head back up, looks back up at me and says with wide eyes, “Alexis…come look under your car.”

I was afraid.

“No….”

“No….seriously. Come look.”

Y’ALL. THE ENTIRE DAMN  HALF ROTTEN DEER DRAGGED BACK TO HIS HOUSE WITH MY CAR!!!!

Worst. Smelling. Thing. I. Have. Ever. Smelled. Ever.

Let’s just say that Josh wasn’t too happy with the cleanup process of this because I sure as hell wasn’t going near the deer, and he also had to fix my bumper because it had snapped in half from running over the already dead deer…

Moral of the story. Pay attention on back roads people. haha!!

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-Alexis